main / Poetry

Falling. (draft)


I don’t know about your love
I don’t know about your love anymore
All  that I know is I’m falling, falling, falling, falling.
Might as well fall in.

Because I’ve been here before
This is the place where
After I’ve forgotten who You are,
After I’ve grafitti’d on Your temple in invisible ink and lies,
After I’ve laid with sin & liked it,
This is the place I fall into.

Somewhere between nowhere & home,
It’s a cold kind of familiarity,
The kind I wish wasn’t so familiar
because I shouldn’t recognize that demon’s face
And his smile shouldn’t be where I turn to when I’m reciting
(what I want to be) full promises
Of last times & never-agains
Forgive me like I forgive my enemies.

Until tomorrow comes and
Paul’s words dance on my tongue
What I want to do, I don’t
What I don’t want to do, I do
But I never make it as far as he
I never allow myself to land into the grace
You’ve nestled under me
So I just keep falling.
Your image becomes blurred with doubt
Why should your blood cleanse a soul
We both know will sin again?
Why will your stripes heal flesh that
Wants to stay sick?
And when you said you would still have died
Even if I was the only one,
Did you mean it?


I’m dragged to the cross,
Forced to watch life pulled
From the veins of a man,
& a God.
The agony in his screams
Still pierce through the millennia
They can be heard in the howl of the midnight wind
The kind that sends a shock through my
Spine, and for a minute I’m scared
Of the unknown.

And when he said it is finished
He died with me
And rose with me
And even those around wondered
“Who is this who even forgives sins?”


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